Branded...

I have been branded. Upon the thigh of my avatar is a small symbol that looks like a filigreed K. The symbol stands for Kef - or the first letter of the word kajira in the Gorean alphabet. It is actually very pretty when you look at it. The hardest part about the branding was the role play itself. How does one create the sensation of a red hot brand being pressed into your flesh if you have never felt something like that before? I have tattoos so the prick of the needles don't bother me. I have piercings so that doesn't bother me. I can pull upon both experiences in order to create the role play for the branding. But unless you actually feel red hot metal on your flesh, you can't be authentic about it.

My avatar was strung up on a branding pole, which looks like a large piece of a telephone pole, her pixelated head thrashing back and forth widely. In the chat, I begged and pleaded with my master to not brand my skin. Fruitless begging. According to the Gor books, of which I have only read one so far ( I honestly can not say if I will read anymore. The one I read was just bad and I had to force myself to get through it. I might read the Tribesman of Gor as I am in the process of speaking with a master there about being collared by him. He is part of a desert SIM as I belong to a Sea Port City right now) the branding takes place for 8 seconds with a white hot iron placed against the skin. In real life that would cause severe burns that would require medical attention, hospitalization, and possible death. Norman apparently did not research that when writing how kajira are branded.

Prior to my branding I would look at the other kajira I interacted with on a regular basis and their brands and would wonder when I would receive mine. Much like the opening of a slave from white silk to red, I find that the brand is a flag of honor to the kajira. It is just one more piece in the puzzle of submission. Now that I have it, I have to remember to put it on when walking around the Gor SIM. I take it off when I head to other SIMs to play the games, dance, or do my SL job. My collar however NEVER leaves my neck.

Submission. That is a common word bandied about when playing in Gor. There is a deep gloss of BDSM to everything in the Gorean realm. However, it is not truly BDSM. Someone I talked to mentioned the term "lifestyler" to me. It means someone who strives to live the Gorean life in the real world. I am not sure how this would work. Rape and tortue and the like are acceptable in Gor. Not so  much in real life. That's why I think so many people I've run across in the Gor Role Play world are members of the BDSM community.

I have seen sites online about this Lifestylers and such. It is fascinating to me as is any sexual proclivity. They can say it is a way of life, a religions experience, or how they truly feel but they can not deny there is an inherent sexual energy that pervades almost every aspect of Gor. Especially for the slave girl. A kajira wears little clothing. An outfit that can be ripped off when ever the man wants, or pushed aside in some cases. Easy access to the slave is the ultimate goal of the camisk. However I did learn today from my soon to be tribesman master, that the desert dwelling kajira are more covered then their Port dwelling sisters. The heat is the explanation I was given. As someone who resides in a very hot high desert in Real Life I can understand that completely.

What is the brand? What does it mean to me as kajira? As a real woman in the real world? Why do I continue to submit in the online world? Perhaps by exploring Gor, I am exploring the inside of me...something I've been longing for but never found.

Maybe I am looking for a Master.

Side note - if you Google Kef and look in the images you will be astounded to see how many of the images are of real women.

When You Are Collared...

There are many Kajira in the SL Gor realms. The amount far outweighs the number of women who are Free. What I learned today is that fact is in contrast to the books themselves. Slaves are the rarer creatures in the actual stories. Yet, here in this virtual world the number of women who put themselves in the role of kajira is massive.

How a woman becomes kajira is an interesting turn of events as well. For myself, I was sitting in the Gor Hub, a hipster meeting place in SL for Gor minded people to meet and mingle OOC. (Out of Character) RP is not necessary in the Hub but many indulge. That was how I was collared and brought to the SIM I now call my Gor homestone. I will explain Homestone more in depth in a future blog. The warrior who collared me makes it a habit of nabbing women from the Hub, collaring them, and dropping them off at the Slaver's house for training. My path was a bit different.

I was commanded to the warrior's boot with the words "Heel, beast" after that I sat in the Tower position while he talked in local chat to his SL Gorean mother and in the private IM to me. Once his mother was gone he took me back to the city for the first time. There I served him some mead and was fed. He touched me and stroked my hair, fondled my thigh and called me by my name. This is common. In the books as in SL I have learned that slaves must be "ready" for the Masters at little or no notice. That is why they are clad in camisk. A camisk can be removed or ripped off the slave quickly.

These items vary from slave to slave, depending on what we purchase in the SL Market and stores. (Fashion and selling is big business in SL. People have made substantial amounts of money from buy and selling SL land tracts)

From there I was taken to the side of the Ubar's daughter (An amazing RPlayer and font of knowledge in Gor as well as being a really nice chick.) There I was commanded to nurse for she was in a coma. The master was pleased with me. I logged off to journey back into the real world and when I returned to SL sometime later I was found by the slaver.

I think when a woman is collared by a handsome stranger, the avatars are truly beautiful and the more time spent making them look real, the more beautiful they become; she falls a little in love with him. That is the fate of one such kajira I share floor space with in the kennel. We were collared by the same man. She is smitten with him and goes out of her way to gain his notice, yet I am not sure what will happen there. He is very BTB and she is naive in the Gorean ways and doesn't seem to care. I will watch this with amusement and write down what I see.

She is to be auctioned on Saturday. A blood auction. This is the sale of her avatars virginity. She will no longer be a white silk but she will be a red silk. The red silk means she has been "opened" or is no longer a virgin. I will be there, observing in my tower position, a silent chronicler of the human condition.

I will still be a white silk.

Currently reading Captive of Gor as part of my training. I will finish the book but is it hard to read, just badly written.

My first beating

I received my first beating today. The master slaver caught me sneaking back into the kennel after playing on other parts of SL. The issues was not that I was running around SL doing other stuff. The issue was the sneaking.

Yes, the slaves in SL Gor land sleep and live in kennels. We are beasts after all.

It is difficult to explain the emotions that roll over you when your avatar recieves its first beating. This pixelated creation becames such an extention of your coporal form you fear for her continued safety. You and the others in the scene with you emote, or type the action. While there is some animations to be had; the bondage cross my avatar was chained to, the faces she made in that position, and the flick of the master's whip, you must take an active part.  You choose to be here in this position, having this action be carried out on you, and you don't leave when it gets rough. The emoting is the key. When the RP (Role-playing) excels you develop tunnel vision. You become your character. Every response is a visceral one.

I ran into the kennel and up the stairs not noticing the Master and his first girl seated at the low table. I realized my mistake instantly and ran back down the stairs to greet them. But it was too late. The Master was displeased. I assumed the Tower position by his boot and greeting them with the expected "Tal, Master." He rose to his feet and towered over me, stroking the end of his whip. "Where have you been, beast?" He asked. "I was looking around the town, Master." my answer was quick, a lie really but this is a virtual world and absolute truth is not expected or given. "What did you do wrong?" his hand stroking down my hair. "I disobeyed the Master's rules" From there I was taken back upstairs and stripped. Chained to a wooden pole and beating until I repeated what he wanted to hear "I was a slave and a slave is property. I have two rules I must follow be at master's boot awaiting orders or be carrying them out"

There was much more to this RP which went on for roughly two hours. I was first beaten in the city street in front of the healer, his free companion, and her father. Only when I cried out did the master drag me back to the kennel to finish the job.

Before the beating I found myself, my human self, begin to shake as if the pixeled whip would actually hurt my flesh. There were tears in my eyes when I begged my master not to hurt me. I vocalized this wish into the night air of my den. At that moment, my avatar and I merged into one creation. Looking back on it now I am still amazed that something created out of computer programmed lines of script and typing from three people could have turned me into this mess. I was truly a kajira about to be punished.

For that small scrap of time...I was a slave.

This Blog

I am a slave. A beast. A possession. A Kajira. Or at least I am in the virtual world of Secondlife.

For those of you who don't know what Secondlife is here is a brief description. It is a huge MMORPG that spans the world. Inside this amazing virtual universe there are lands, called SIMS, dedicated to the role-play of Gor.

Gor is an Earth-like world created by writer John Norman. Norman wrote 26 books about the world of Gor and its inhabitants. Now that said - the books are horrible. Terribly written and hard to slough through because of the slow pace due to bad prose. But, the world building is amazing. It is this very world building that has drawn me into the virtual recreations of this place, this Counter-Earth.  As this blog progresses, and my training continues, I will write more about the Gorean way of life and world.

The rules of Gorean life are complex and varied, especially in cyberspace. Simplified there are two classes of people; the slave and the free. The majority of the slaves are women, but I have seen a few men - it is my understanding that these types are not considered to the BTB or By the Book Gor as they are slaves to Panthers and Femlaw role players. (FemLaw and Panthers appear to be a cyberspace creation for those women who want to be warriors. It is my understanding that these types are looked down on by serious Gorean role players.) The other types of people are the Free which consist of men and women. They are castes and degrees of honor.

As of this writing I am a collared slave at the Port of Meqara. I am a kajira in training. I am a white silk, which means I have yet to be opened - basically my avatar is a virgin. At some point my virginity will be sold to a man and he will take me furring - whether I like it or not.

As a kajira, I belong to the city and the head slaver is my master. I wear a collar around my neck and can be severely punished if I misbehave. When a Free is around I must kneel in a position called Tower. My legs tucked underneath me and my knees closed together. My hands on my thighs, palms up and my gaze turned down. If I fail to do this, I will be beaten. I must address all Frees as Master or Mistress with the greeting of Tal (Hello in the Gorean language). If I fail to do this, I will be beaten. If I go furring with a man, whether he forces me or not, without permission of the Master, I will be beaten. Can you see a pattern emerging?

Why would a woman who in her RL has a position of relative power in her work, a secure and calm life, and a stable family and friend network come online in the recesses of the night and subject herself to this?

Because I want to see what makes people want to immerse themselves in this alternate world, this place where the power is shifted. This place is more then a BDSM wasteland or a world of geeks at computers.

There is an elegance and I mean to find it.

This blog will be a chronicle of that journey

A week again I was collared by Master Khronos and brought to the city. I was stripped naked and handed to the Slaver. I was collared again and examined to prove I was a white silk. I am a slave. I am a beast. The slaver gives me only two rules to follow.

1. Be at his boot awaiting orders
2. Be carrying out his orders.

I am a kajira of Gor.